


Dress Up

by sailortaire



Series: Walk the plank [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6186361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailortaire/pseuds/sailortaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you want an idea you could always have Will find Nico in the pirate costume and he takes pictures using it as blackmail to get Nico to do everything he ask and he ask for a kiss." </p><p>I twisted the prompt a lot but I hope you like it! It's sad but it'll get better by the end I promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Inlovewithsnow2002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inlovewithsnow2002/gifts).



"Nico!"

Nico groaned and rolled over in bed. Maybe if he ignored the voice it would go away.

"Nico!" This time the voice was accompanied by a knock on the Hades cabins door.

Nico sighed, peeking out of his blanket cocoon and glaring at the door.  
  
If it was Will... he couldn't see him like this, with greasy hair and wearing that stupid pirate costume he got him for Halloween months ago. He would feel embarrassed by it if it didn't make him feel safer.

Somehow he always felt safer when he thought of Will, and that apparently extended to feeling safer via sleeping in Wills ridiculous gift of a pirate costume.

"Nico? I'm coming in."

 _Fuck_ , Nico thought frantically as he ripped off his covers and tried to get out of bed- tried, and failed, given that he fell on the floor when his legs got tangled in the sheets. Hypnos probably hated him.

"Oh my gods."

Nico winced at that and slowly got up, his eyes widening when he saw a phone in Wills hand.

"Oh my gods," Will whispered again, the flash going off on his phone.

"Did you just- I'm going to kill you," Nico said furiously.

Will smiled widely. "No, you're not. You're going to do everything I tell you too or else I'm showing this," he said, wiggling his phone in the air, "to _everyone_."

Will just laughed when Nico sprang forward, trying to grab the phone, which Will put in his jacket pocket.

"Get dressed, Nico. We're going to be late for breakfast," was all Will said before leaving Nico alone again.

Nico did not want to eat. Not in front of everyone. He didn't need more people staring at him, and he knew that if he ate anyone who saw him would silently judge him for wasting food when he didn't need it.

He'd just wait until later, when he could sneak off to his cabin and eat from the pile of snackboxes he had stashed in his closet, and hope that they would stay down. They probably wouldn't, though. Food never did, not since Tartarus.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly not in a very good mood today, so this might not be the best chapter but hopefully it's good enough!

Nico sighed as Will dragged him out of the dining pavilion by his arm. Will had sat next to him at the Hades table (Chiron had allowed it for some reason, which was _great_ ), and Nico knew Will had noticed him only eating a few bites and then stopping.

He waited until Will had slowed down in the field they had come to, sat down carefully, and then opened his mouth to speak, only to realize that he didn't actually know what he was supposed to say.

Will, apparently, did, smiling at him nervously.

"Will, I-" Nico started, then stopped as Will shook his head and knelt next to him.

"Nico, you don't have to hide anything from me, you know that, right?" Will asked softly.

Nico took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before shakily exhaling. "Yeah," he said, "I know that."

"Do you?" Will asked sharply. "Because I don't think you do. I'm not going to judge you if you tell me something you think I don't want to hear."

"I don't think that," Nico said angrily. "And you have no right to talk to me like that."

"Nico, I'm just trying to help!" Will yelled. "Do you even care about what you're doing to yourself?"

"What exactly would that be, Will?" Nico asked lowly.

Will clenched his jaw tightly before answering. "I think you don't eat because of what happened in- when you went missing, and I know you were feeling bad about yourself before then because of your sister, and because you were trapped in that hotel for seventy years-"

"Shut up!" Nico screamed, standing up. "You don't know anything about me!"

"Yes," Will said, standing up as well, "I do."

"No, you don't! You don't know what it was like, being from another time, not being able to remember anything, not even your own mother! You don't see the way people look at me, like I'm- like I'm-" Nico's voice broke as he tried to find the words to express his feelings, all of them, even the ones that felt like they were lodged deep beneath his skin.

"Nico, you don't have to explain anything to me if you don't want to. I just want to understand why you're feeling the way you are so I can help you get better," Will explained gently.

"I know," Nico whispered. "I just don't know what to say."

"That's okay," Will said, sitting back down slowly and trying to hide his smile as Nico sat down as well, "Take your time."


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *cracks knuckles* how do i make this as sad as possible?? Short and bitter, that's how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!! tw! read the tags pls

Nico stared down at his sneakers while Will paced around him. He had agreed to a checkup, but now he was starting to regret it.

He already knew he was too skinny; people around camp were always telling him that, but he didn't feel skinny. He felt huge, like every movement he made was exaggerated somehow, stretched out of proportion.

He never really had known how to take care of himself; it was always Bianca taking care of him, and before that it was his mother...his mother, who died because he was born. Even when he was a kid he was fucking things up.

What would his mother say if she saw him now? Her pathetic teenage son, scared of loving because he thought it was wrong- because it had been wrong when he was growing up.

He wanted to love, he really did, but he wasn't ready to deal with all those emotions yet; he was barely ready to keep living, how was he supposed to manage a boyfriend?

At least he had Will, Will was always there for him, even though he didn't deserve it. Maybe Will and him-no. No, that could never be allowed to happen. He wouldn't ruin Will's life. Not after all Will had done for him so far. He wouldn't ask for more (Will probably didn't even like him anyway, was probably just being nice, because it was Will's nature to be nice, he was _so_ _nice, how was Nico supposed to shut him out when he was so nice?_

"Nico, look at me," Will said, breaking through Nico's thoughts. Nico raised his head, staring at him. "Nico, you need to eat more," Will said.

"I know," Nico sighed. "Is that all?"

Will stared back at him sadly. Nico mentally kicked himself. Why did he always make people sad? Maybe if he was dead people would be happy for once.

"No," Will said. "That's not all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!! Also-tell me what you think im begging u k thanks


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hmmm well this is isn't as long as I wanted it, but i think this chapter's still pretty nice :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hA

"You need," Will continued, "to stop lying to yourself."

"I'm not," Nico said. "I'm not lying to myself."

"Yes, you are." Will insisted.

"How?" Nico asked. "How, exactly, am I lying to myself? You don't know what goes on in my head."

"I know that you were literally in Hell a few months ago. That doesn't just go away, Nico."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nico snapped. "I'm fine."

 "Nico, you're not fine. And that's okay," Will said gently.

"'That's okay'? What the fuck?" Nico yelled. "It's not okay that I'm not okay!"

"So, you admit it, you're not okay," Will said.

"What? No, I'm fine!" Nico choked out.

"Really," Will said, "because you're a mess."

"Will!" Nico spluttered. "I thought you were on my side!"

"There is no 'side', Nico," Will said. "I just want you to talk about your feelings. Is that so bad?"

"Yeah, it is!" Nico sighed, running a hand through his hair as he stared at his feet, digging a toe into the dirt.

"Why?" Will asked, stepping closer to him.

"Because," Nico explained, "I don't know what I'm feeling."

"Then let me help you," Will said, lifting Nico's chin up with his hand and staring him in the eyes.

"I don't need help," Nico said fiercely.

Will laughed, his hand still cupping Nico's chin. "Don't worry, I'm not judging you. Even Zeus needs helps sometimes."

Nico rolled his eyes. "Tell that to Zeus."

"Oh, I will, definitely," Will said. "It's number two on my bucket list."

"Number two?" Nico echoed. "What's number one?"

"Making you happy," Will whispered, leaning in and kissing Nico on the forehead. "Now, come on. I think you need some emergency cuddles."

NIco blinked. "What?"

"Nothing," Will said quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not over yet btw, it may seem resolved but there's still a lot of crap I gotta put them through. Anyway- please comment! Ily


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emergency snuggle time!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five is my favorite number!! Which has nothing to do with this chapter but whatever.

"Emergency cuddles is...this?" Nico asked, staring at Will's bed in the Apollo cabin.

The walls of the cabin were painted light yellow, and the ceiling was painted with clouds and miniature suns. There were bows and arrows hanging on the walls, along with a bunch of instruments that probably shouldn't have been hanging on a wall, and where there weren't instruments or bows and arrows hanging there were motivational posters with kittens on them. Sheet music, clothes and basketballs were everywhere, and the entire cabin smelled strongly of flowers and axe, which was both confusing and disgusting.

Will's eyes widened. "Well, yeah, I mean, I have a bed in here, so? Yeah."

"Will-" Nico began, then broke off when Will rolled his eyes at him.

"Come on," Will said, grasping his hand tugging him towards the bed- it was a bottom bunk bed, pushed into a corner, with the top bunk bed being covered in medicine supplies.

Will sat down on the bed and patted the space next to him enthusiastically.

"Okay," Nico said, sitting down next to Will, "what exactly are emergency snuggles?"

"This," Will said, tackling Nico on the bed, laying on top of him and hugging him as Nico squealed- which he would vehemently deny later.

"Isn't this nice?" Will asked, speaking into Nico's shoulder and curling his arms around him tighter.

"Yeah," Nico murmured, shutting his eyes and sighing. He couldn't remember the last time someone had held him like this- like he meant something.

He never let anyone touch him (except for Hazel), because he just wasn't a touchy-feely guy. He felt uncomfortable when people were too close to him, and he wasn't sure why he didn't feel uncomfortable now...

No, he did know. Will was like Hazel; loving and kind and good. Will would never hurt him, Nico knew that, and he also knew he could trust him. After everything they had gone through, after everything Will had done for him, Nico knew he'd always be there for him. He wanted to spend as much time with Will as possible, because when he was around Will he somehow caught himself smiling, which felt amazing. Being able to smile just by being in Will's presence was gratifying, and Nico knew that if he stayed around Will he'd start smiling again even when Will wasn't there.

He wanted to tell Will how he felt, but he wasn't sure how. It was like he could say it right in his head, but couldn't put it into words that make sense.

The only word Nico knew right now was 'love', but he was _not_ going to tell Will that. Instead, he let himself relax with Will's body on top of him; protecting him, comforting him, and he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't find/remember any description(s) of the Apollo cabin so I just winged it tbh. !!!!! pls comment


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V short bc the next chapter's a monster (ha ha, monster)

Nico woke up in a panic, his heart beating so quickly he thought it would break out of his chest. He had dreamed that he was running, running far away from something he couldn't see, from something with a face that was made of darkness, darkness that enveloped him and made him feel numb, made him feel like he was suffocating. All he could hear was a voice, deep and gravelly, telling him to stop running from his own thoughts, telling him to stop lying to himself about what he wanted, telling him to just take it already.

He closed his eyes tightly, then opened then and stared at Will, who was still sleeping, his body relaxed and a smile still stuck on his face somehow. It seemed that, somehow, even in sleep, Will was happy.

Will looked so pretty in the dim lights of the cabin, his arms toned and golden, his cheeks rosy pink, and his lips were parted and wet, like Will had been licking them in his sleep.

Gods, Will's _lips_ -

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to control his breathing.

What was he doing there? What was he doing with Will?

Will didn't even like him, he was just like Percy, he would only end up hurting him. Percy hadn't even known that Nico had liked him, was so surprised that Nico had liked him.

He was glad Annabeth took the whole situation in her stride, making him feel a lot better. He was glad Percy had her. At least Percy had someone who wasn't a mess like Nico was.

Nico sat up and swung his legs onto the floor, careful not to disturb Will.

He had to leave, now, before Will woke up. But could he just leave, without telling him goodbye?

It didn't matter; if he woke Will up just to say goodbye Will would ask him to stay, and he wouldn't be able to say no. He could never say no to Will; he only ever wanted to make Nico happy, how could he refuse that?

He didn't deserve Will, not really, even if Will was only faking everything. Even if Will was only pretending to like him so Nico wouldn't do something stupid, like killing himself or starving himself or something.

It's not like Nico could make Will fall in love with him; he wasn't attractive or happy or interesting enough to do that.

Nico wasn't going to lie to himself anymore.

He looked around the room, and, finding a pen and a discarded music sheet, he scribbled a short note, placed it carefully on the bed where he had just been laying, and walked out of the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cw for violence!

Nico ran into his cabin, grabbbing his backpack that he had packed weeks ago, before he decided to stay. What a stupid decision that had been.

He grabbed his sword, too, and ran back out the door, ran as fast as he could, past the camp boundaries, past Thalia's tree, and he didn't stop running.

Which is why he didn't see the hydra as it jumped out from behind a tree, baring it's teeth, all nine pairs.

Nico screamed as the hydra bit into his arm, it's other eight heads spitting on him and scorching his skin with fire.

He _shouldn't_ have left camp, he _shouldn't_ have fallen in love with Will, _he shouldn't have been born shouldn't have shouldn't have shouldn't have._

Maybe he deserved this, being torn apart by a monster. He deserved a lot more, honestly, given what a horrible person he was.

He closed his eyes as the hydra threw him against a tree, ready and waiting for the hydra to finish him off.

He wasn't expecting a soft touch to his face, and he opened his eyes, staring into the eyes of...

"Will? Nico rasped.

"Shh, shh, it's just me," Will said. "Is it just your arm?"

Nico sat up with a groan and a wince, looking over Will's shoulder and seeing that pile of monster goo behind him.

"You killed it?" he asked.

"Is it just your arm?" Will repeated, louder this time.

"I- I don't know..." Nico slurred, his vision blurring as he rocked from side to side.

Will's eyes widened. "Is something burning?" he asked. "Are you **burning**?"

"Burning..." Nico repeated, "burning..."

"It'll be okay, Nico, you'll be okay," Will said, his hands fluttering all over Nico's body. "I've got you."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tbh i think this chapter's a little confusing but?? it's supposed to be, so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo check the tags xoxo

_"You think you can outrun me?" the darkness hissed. "You couldn't outrun me when you were in_ Tartarus, could you? You were pathetic then, and you're pathetic now. What makes you think anyone could ever love you? Your own sister left you because she didn't care enough to be bothered by you. Your father could have taken care of you in the Underworld, but instead he locked you up in that hotel. He erased all of your memories, and for what? For you to survive and be miserable? You should have died that night with your mother, should have let Bianca live without you dragging her down," the voice laughed shrilly. "You'll never amount to anything, and you know it. So why try? It won't be long until you mess up **again**. You can't even eat, you feel guilty about it when you know you'll just end up dying soon anyway..."  
  
"Nico," another voice said, but it was so far away...was it real, or was he just imagining it?  
  
_Again, again, again, again again again again...all his fault, his fault..._ his _fault_...  
  
"Nico!" This time the voice was accompanied by something touching his leg, and Nico panicked. The voice was coming for him, coming to kill him, coming to make him kill himself, and he _wanted_...

"Nico, breathe, please please please Nico, you're fading please breathe, breathe, oh my gods," the voice spoke again.

Nico didn't understand. He couldn't breathe, how was he supposed to breathe? He tried to open his eyes, but they stayed closed against his will.

He tried to sit up, but that didn't work either.  
  
Fading, he remembered. He was fading into the darkness, just like it said he would.

 _I should just let it happen_ , he thought. _It would be better for everyone._

"Nico, don't you fucking say that!" the voice yelled.  
  
Crap, did he say that out loud?

"Yeah, you did," the voice said, and Nico suddenly recognized it.

"Will?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, it's me, Nico. Now, listen to me, I don't want you dead, okay, no one does, I know you think it's true, but it's not. Just let me help you get through this, please Nico, and I'll prove it to you," Will said, all in one breath.  
  
"Prove it to me? If you have to prove it to me then it's obviously not a thing, Will. You're just lying to me, you don't even like me, you don't even love me back, why would you care if I died? You wouldn't, you're just too nice to say it, just leave me alone," Nico's voice cracked as he started to lose feeling in his lips.

"Nico..." Will said softly, "I care about you, okay?"

Nico felt pressure against his lips as his thoughts ran away from him and he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: the next (and final) chapter will be posted Friday!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!!!! I'm switching it up a bit for this final chapter guys: it's from Will's POV!  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will and Nico (finally) talk about feelings, and they come to a decision.

Will frowned as he straightened up, his hand running through Nico's hair. Nico's body wasn't fading into darkness anymore, which was great, but he was still unconcious.

Will flushed, remembering pressing his lips against Nico's to try and calm him down; it had worked, but he still felt guilty about it, since Nico wasn't in the right state of mind for it. He wondered if Nico would even remember; if he didn't, Will would tell him.

He knew what Nico was hiding from him, he had just wanted Nico to tell him himself. That was the first step of healing.

He heard Nico moan, and waited. Sure enough, his eyes opened a couple of seconds later, as he squirmed under the covers.

"Nico, what just happened?" Will asked carefully.

"Nothing!" Nico said adamantly.  
  
"Stop lying to me," Will said. "I know there's something wrong. Let me help, before you wind up dead."  
  
Nico flinched, tangling his fingers with Will's. "I just...I don't know," he said, "what's wring with me. It's just- I've never really like myself, and Tartarus just gave me more reasons not to."

That made sense to Will; losing his memories of his childhood, being dragged through time, losing his sister, and being trapped in Tartarus had been hard for Nico. He had been expecting that.

"But?" Will asked, thinking hard. There had to be something else, he could sense it.

"I..." Nico took a deep breath. "I don't- I don't like eating. I just don't like eating when I know that it's keeping me alive, because I don't deserve to be kept alive; I-I killed my mother by being born, and I killed my sister too. I mess everything up, I do, I really do, don't give me that look. And I just- I'm fucking gay, Will, and I know that's okay, but it's also not okay, because Percy didn't love me back, and you-" Nico broke off, biting his lips as his eyes watered.  
  
"I just want someone to love me," Nico whispered, staring at Will. "And Hazel doesn't count. She's my sister, _my sister_...but she's not Bianca. She's not _you._ "  
  
Will was stunned. He had known it was bad, but this...  
  
"I do love you," Will said. "I'm not pretending."

Nico stared at Will for a few seconds, then laughed. "Sure," he said.

"I mean it," Will insisted. He had to make sure Nico knew.

"No, you don't," Nico said.

Will sighed, biting his lip. He was always telling Nico how smart he was, how brave he was, how special he was. If that didn't work, what would?

 He leaned in slowly, cupping Nico's cheek, and kissed him softly; a quick press of lips. 

He drew back. "I kissed you before, when you were asleep, I know I shouldn't have, but I did. I was just so scared of losing you...I-I don't expect me loving you to change anything," he said, "but at least you know."

Nico flushed. "I...I guess I do, now," he said, raising his hand to brush against Will's. "And you're right. About everything. I'll talk to you more, about what's happened to me, and how I'm dealing with it. That's all I can promise you."

"I know," Will said, smiling. "And, Nico?"

"What, Will?", Nico asked, his mouth curving slightly.

"You'll always be my pirate," Will whispered, kissing Nico again before tucking him into bed.

Nico laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter!! Ahhh omg I hope I ended it well!!! (I'm not sure if I like it, though...)


End file.
